A Complicated Joy

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (The New Revised Standard Version)

Photo Credit: Jan Richardson, "Joy Is What We Make Together"

I have often read the words above at funerals. They are a good reminder to us all that death is a part of life. I often read each phrase as two words that oppose one another. For instance, there is a time to tear and then another time to sew. I have understood the actions to happen at different times.

And, yet, what if the list is not in opposition, but they are actions that can happen at the same time? What if instead of it being an "either/or" list, it is a "both/and" list? Can we have both tearing and sewing at the same time? War and peace?

In early December, I posted a reflection on how I continue to have hope in the face of despair. There are things in my life, in my community and nation that continue to give me much despair. And yet with the help of Christ, I have hope for a better world.

I recently participated in an online women's retreat with women from my congregation. We read and studied together Jan Richardson's "Women's Christmas" retreat for 2021: "The Sanctuary Between Us." In Jan's reflections, she comments on how "when joy comes to us, it is accompanied by other emotions that seem to be in conflict but somehow enter our lives all mixed together: joy and sorrow and gratitude and grief." She writes how emotions are often intertwined with one another, with one emotion not being isolated from other emotions. She continues to say that "complicated joy recognizes the realities of the world; it does not come from naiveté or from ignoring what makes this life hard." An easy example, is the death of a loved one. We have feelings of grief, but may also find ourselves smiling and laughing at the good memories we shared with the one whom we are missing. We are grieving and celebrating at the exact same time. Happy tears are often confusing to children as well as to us when we experience them and yet they are our truest emotion: a combination of many emotions!

We as individuals and as a community continue to be discouraged.

We also continue to have hope.

My County has moved out of "stay at home" orders, but we are not yet at a healthy level for my children to return to school.

Vaccines are here, but there is no timeline available for when I might receive one.

My family has booked our beach house for August, but will we get to go?

I have joy.

I have sadness.

I have hope.

I have anxiety.

It is complicated...and that is OK.

For everything there is a season.

God is with me.

God is with you.

Thanks be to God.

Amen.